for my Lord Anpu

I’ve said before  this Deity  does not like abusive people.

If you are abusive and foolish enough to try to claim Him you will get what’s coming to you.

I have heard from others that an angry Anpu is scary to say the least.  I only just recently experienced this first hand.  Looking at a photo of a self important abusive individual  posing for  the camera  holding an Anubis mask I actually  heard him growl.  That’s  a first.

This person was threatening others with curses. I had felt for the energy stream that accompanies magick …never found it.  So was looking  at images …need a link to send it back. If anything  is  actually  sent..

That’s when I heard Him growl.  I learned a new thing.  He called it a chaos sphire.  It traps negative energy generated by  an individual or group of people  and causes that energy to become stuck bouncing around the aura of the wrong doers.  The out is simple. Give up on doing harm to  others and the harmful energy cam be harmlessly grounded.

Is it dark? A curse in its own  right?

I would say so but I cannot do it on my own anyway the geometry is beyond me.

My Sweet Lord

My I never anger you  so.

The 125th Chapter is concerned with the entry of an initiate into the Hall of the Two Columns of Justice and commenced with a most beautiful and symbolic description of Death. as a journey from the barren wilderness of Earth to the Glorious Land which lies beyond. The literal translation of the opening lines is as follows:

“I have come from afar to look upon thy beauties. My hands salute thy Name of Justice. I have come from afar, where the Acacia Tree grew not. Where the tree thick with leaves is not born. Where there come not beams from herb or grass. I have entered the Place of Mystery. I have communed with Set. Sleep came upon me, I was wrapped therein, bowing down before the hidden things. I was ushered into the House of Osiris, I saw the marvels that were there. The Princes of the Gates in their Glory”

The illustrations in this Chapter represent the Hall of Truth as seen through the open leaves of its door. The hall is presided over by a God who holds his right hand over the cage of a hawk and his left over the food of Eternity. On each side of the God is a cornice crowned by a row of alternate feathers and Uraei symbolising justice and firey power. The door leaf which completes the right hand of a stall is called ‘Possessor of Truth controlling the Feet’ , while that on the left is ‘Possessor of strength binding the male and female animals’ . The 42 judges of the dead are represented as seated in a long row, and each of them has to be named, and the Sin over which he presides has been denied.

This chapter describes the introduction of an initiate into the Hall of Truth by ANUBIS, who, having questioned the aspirant, receives from him an account of his initiation. and is satisfied by his right to enter. He states that he has been taken into the ante-chamber of the Temple and there stripped and blindfolded, he had to grope for the entrance to the Hall, and having found it he was reclothed and annointed in the presence of the Initiated. He is then asked for the Pass-words and demands that his Soul should be weighed in the Great Balance of the Hall of Truth, whereupon ANUBIS again interrogates him concerning the symbolism of the door of the Hall, and his answers being found correct, ANUBIS says, “Pass on, thou knowest it”.

Among other things the initiates states that he has been purified four times, the same number of times that the Neophyte is purified and consecrated in the ceremony of the Neophyte. He then makes the long Negative Confession, stating to each judge in turn that he is innocent of that form of Sin over which he judges. Then he invokes the Judges to do him justice, and afterwards describes how he had washed in the washing place of the South, and rested in the North, in the place called ‘Son of the Deliverers’ and he becomes the Dweller under the Olive Tree of Peace, and how he was given a tall flame of fire and a scepter of cloud which he preserved in the salting tank in which mummies are swathed. And he found there another scepter called ‘Giver of Breath’ and with that he extinguished the flame and shattered the scepter of cloud, and made a lake of it. The initiate is then brought to the actual Pillars and has to name them and their parts under the symbol of the Scales of a Balance . He also has to name the Guardian of the Gateway, who prevents his passage, and when all these are propitiated the plea of the Hall cries out against his steps, saying, “Because I am silent, because I am pure.” and it must know that his aspirations are pure enough and high enough for him to be allowed to tread upon it. He is then allowed to announce to Thoth that he is clean from all evil and has overcome the influence of the Planets, and THOTH says to him, “Who is He whose Pylons are of Flame, whose walls of Living Uraei, and the flames of whose House are streams of Water?” and the Initiate replies, “Osiris!”

And it is immediately proclaimed: “Thy meat shall be from the Infinite and thy drink from the Infinite. Thou art able to go forth to the sepulchural feasts on earth, for thou hast overcome.”

Thus, these two chapters, which are represented by their illustrations on the Two Pillars, represent the advance and purification of the Soul and its union with Osiris the Redeemer, in the Golden Dawn of the Infinite Light, in which the Soul is transfigured, knows all, and can do all, for it is made One with the Eternal God.

KHABS AM PEKHT

KONX OM PAX

LIGHT IN EXTENSION!

For more read The Golden Dawn by Israel Regardie

 

Alone in the Darkness of a Grade school class

 

Alone in the Darkness of a school playground

 

Alone in the Darkness of a family dinner table

 

Alone with the monsters of cruelty and hate

 

Alone with the Demons of a mothers glazed over eyes

 

Alone with the hatred of teachers and students family and neighbors

 

Alone and afraid an empaths curse

 

Childhood innocence shattered with a million adult demons taking form in my head

 

Rejection and abuse, torment and pain

 

Suicide, murder,molestation and rape

 

Alone in the Darkness a new form takes shape

 

A Black Dog growls Demons take flight

 

“What do you fear? What gives you peace”

 

“Take me with you” I say “before it’s to late.  I am losing the battle, I am beginning to hate”

 

Dark arms enfold me a dark Mother’s embrace.  Star speckled night holds me tight

 

“I need you here My Child can’t you see …the monsters are real they are devouring souls”

 

“I am only one what can I do …”

 

“Be patient, be kind, lead them to me”

 

And so it began this Mystery

 

At Home in the Darkness I wait for you

 

At home in the Darkness speckled with light

 

At home in the Darkness I see past my pain

 

At home in the Darkness where the demons are real

 

At home in the Darkness evil transformed

 

At home in the Darkness I reach out to you

 

Together in the vastness our souls burn bright

 

There is nothing to fear, no one to hate

 

Be gentle, be kind, forgive and spread peace

 

The Dark Mother is with us Her Royal Child our guide

 

In pain and poverty in a world full of hate

 

The Black Dog will lead us until it is time

 

To be with Him in the vastness our souls filled with Love

 

The Monsters are real I have always known them

Meet Don Zangi of Casadaga Florida my own spiritual teacher.

A gentle and humble man he teaches “Satsang” or spiritual knowledge as he has received it from his own teacher Shri Satpal Ji Mahara.

My Lord, My Beloved God has been very clear …. He has sent me to Don to learn.

Don doesn’t know Anpu although I’ve tried to tell Don about Him.  I suspect that Don doesn’t believe in Anpu at all.  Anpu could care less ..He believes in Don.  And so off I go to Satsang.

Even the same God will reveal Himself to His devotees differently, sometimes so much so that the devotees may wonder if they all belong to the same God.

Anpu reveals Himself to me in such a way that I tend to think He must be Buddhist.  He is kind, gentle, loving, patient and has a great sense of humor. He cares about spiritual growth but not about religion.   My silly little ego …My Lord could care less about that too …except to the extent that it gets in the way.

It’s not hard to see why He loves Don.

Don has a saying …

“I don’t know

I don’t care

And I don’t want to know”

To clarify he does not mean that he doesn’t care about people.  Far from it ..he goes out of his way to help others.

This is about gossip and drama.  It lowers your vibration, complicates your life and is, in general, damaging to your spiritual, mental and physical health.

Avoiding gossip and drama is in keeping with The Laws Of Maat as per the negative confession.

 29.“Hail, thou who orderest speech (Sera-kheru), who comest forth from Unaset, I have not stirred up strife.”

30. “Hail, Lord of faces (Neb-heru), who comest forth from Netchfet, I have not judged hastily.”

31. “Hail, Sekheriu, who comest forth from Utten, I have not been an eavesdropper.”

32. “Hail, Lord of the two horns (Neb-abui), who comest forth from Saïs, I have not multiplied words exceedingly.”

36. “Hail, thou bearer of the sistrum (Ahi), who comest forth from Nu, I have not spoken scornfully.”

The temptation is great and I have succumbed before and no doubt will do so again.  We must make a conscious effort to resist.  As my Mother used to say don’t step down into the sewer with anybody.

The Pagan net always seems to have a flame war going.  We do not have to participate, but if we choose to we should keep the above laws of Maat in mind.

Politics …My country, the USA is going through it’s Presidential election madness.  With that one candidate appears to be …well…not in any way in keeping with The Law’s Of Maat …it’s already ugly.  Speaking out against evil is certainly not only permitted but required.  It is important that while doing so we do not step down into the sewer with him.

There is a great deal of hardship in this world.  If you are reading this and have a roof over your head and food to eat be grateful.  If no one is bombing your cities and towns, if tanks are not rolling through your neighborhoods be thankful.

It is difficult to pursue a spiritual path under stress.  I know all too well.  My husband and I are both chronically ill, with chronic pain, we are broke, it looks like I’m going to lose my job and I am the ‘bread winner’, my mother is slowly dying of Alzheimer’s and MS, my father has had 3 heart attacks and open heart surgery, my brother, niece, step-daghter and several other family members have serious health problems, everybody is broke, we live in Florida and we have no air conditioning. The house wasn’t built with windows aligned to catch a breeze.

But I see homeless people every time I venture out into public places.  

Knowing others have it worse doesn’t make your own pain less.  The Neter, The Gods, understand this.

Avoiding drama can be very, very difficult too.  And They understand this as well.  Sometimes due to your circumstances avoiding toxic people may be impossible.  Such people will constantly seek to bait you so that you will supply them with the attention they crave and join them in their intensely negative realities.

What can you do?  Say no I don’t know about X and no I don’t want to know.

OK fine.

Try not to stoop to name calling.  Try to place a little distance between yourself and the toxic person.  Realize that the hurtful words mean that they are suffering. they are in pain. they are acting irrationality on autopilot often behaving exactly the way an abusive parent or caregiver behaved towards them.  This distance makes it easier not to internalize another persons negatively.

The link below will take you to a book that will help you to understand and deal with negative people. Even more importantly it will help you to understand yourself.

https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=ZIvlT9IxYTwC&oi=fnd&pg=PT3&ots=HiyaUYsQof&sig=BqgdSD5FgtfL-vOt9Y7nNorD5PA#v=onepage&q&f=false

regards to the election I am going to try my best not to respond to the name calling.  I am going to try to speak only in terms of my own beliefs as to what is true about the candidates.  I will do my best not to go negative and stoop to name calling even when others call me various nasty names.

This life, this nation, this time in history is transient and impermanent.  Our souls are eternal.  Let us always try to live within The Laws Of Maat.

Attachment stuck to whys
Attachment stuck to pain
Attachments stuck to injustice
Letting go … the mind rebels
Letting go … the mind goes back again….
resentment
Connected always to its source
Pain
in the mind
in the soul
attatchment
in the memory
to be free I must let go …
or remain here in the past
in the pain
relinquishing … to release is not to condone
to let go is to end the pain … I know but…
the mind rebels
stuck on whys
stuck on how could they?
stuck on the horror… the injustice….
the soul bleeds
the memory of pain
demanding
something unknown …
acknowledgment … seeking
releif
Attachments forming already channels to
new lives …
new connections ….
another turn of the wheel
a path to endless retribution
is this justice?
another path is known
forgiveness
to let go is to be free
free of the wheel
nevermore to seek
retribution
To leave off the whys
so hard but so needed
and if I succeed my attachments converted to
love
will lift up all …. not to condone but to resolve
to be free
to rise to a plane glimpsed at
remembered
what need does a ball of light have of
attachment
I am complete
I will be
love is the law
there is no other
yet still …..
the mind rebels

Blessings

Anpu’s Crone

 

I’ve always felt like a visitor here in this world and an unwelcome one at that.

Read the rest of this entry »

The shadow …we all have one.  It lurks deep within us.  A frightened child alone and afraid.  If not integrated it will rise up with a vengeance.  In extreme cases it can even split off from us creating a doppelgänger …a shadow double that has the potential to destroy us.

More often it can take the destructive form of the internal critic.  I used to call this my “peanut gallery”.  Someone else I know refers to it as “the screaming maniac”. This is that voice in your head that criticizes everything you do, tells you that you are worthless and replays every negative experience you’ve had over and over again with special attention to every word spoken and action taken that you deserve to be damned for.  It’s an internalized abuser that can rob you of any hope of happiness in the present

The integration of the shadow is a lifelong process.  It doesn’t have to be difficult or traumatic.  We should approach our shadow selves with compassion, acceptance, understanding and patience.  The shadow is not apart from us …not even if it splits off as a doppelganger.  It is always still a part of us.

I was compelled to write the above poem.  I make no claims of “poetic greatness” I only claim that I put into words that which my dear Lord Anpu and His most sacred, beautiful and wise Mother Nephthys instructed me to write to the best of my limited ability.

The process is simple.  Most spiritual work is simple …although some teachers try to make it complicated and difficult.

There are many good meditations and practices that you can make use of in order to begin this work.  The meditation below is just one example…if it works for you great …if not than try a different route.

Shadow work is highly charged emotionally so after care is important.  Be sure to schedule time afterwards to decompress.  Eat, take time to write things down, if you have someone you can confide in talking about your experiences can be very helpful.  In short baby yourself for a while.

I would recomend invoking Anubis and asking Him to guide you to the best means of shadow work for you.  Remember He is a guide of souls and you are a soul in a body.

Staring into the void means to meditate.  Get comfortable, slowly breath in and out concentrating on your breath while focusing your attention on your third eye.  Visualize the Lady Nephthys.  When your image of Her is clear and you feel Her presence tell Her that you are working on integrating your shadow and request Her assistance.  Then visualize your shadow self as a frightened child or an abused and terrified animal alone in the “void” of you unconscious.  Send the shadow your love, tell him or her that you want to help.

In time (it may take more than one meditation session) the shadow will reach back.  Remember that the emotions of the shadow will be intense and you will experience them as your own …because they are your own.

The shadow cannot rise up into the light so you must descend into the void to meet it. Once there be gentle and kind.  Listen to it.  If possible create a more comfortable astral home for it.

Expect repressed memories to come to the surface …sometimes during and sometimes after the meditation session.  If the memories and emotions are to traumatic to continue stop.

I have found it helpful to mediate on the ‘now’.  The past is over and the future is nonexistent.  We live in the tiny millisecond of ‘now’.  Let your memories of the past rise up in your mind and fade away.  Do the same with your anxieties about the future.  You are eternal existing always in the ‘now’.  This mortal physical life is short.  Anpu tells me this life is very valuable so do not waste it.  Look around you …wherever you are there is something to learn from.  Take in as much as you can.  Love as much as you can, listen and understand as much as you can.   You are light and shadow, divine and animal.  Love is the key.  Compassion is the gate, service to those whom you can help the path, and eternity among the Gods the reward.

Also remember what the Gods consider to be a good successful life is not the same as what our human societies consider to be a good and successful life.

The Gods care about your spiritual growth.  All great teachers have said go contrary to the world.  This means ignore what society says is ‘good’ and embrace what the Gods value.  Be the best, kind, loving, compassionate human you can be.

Blessings now and always

A few days ago I had this stuck in my head.  while I was singing ‘hello darkness my old friend’ to myself I opened FB on my phone and at the top of my feed was a link to this song and video.  The Man that posted it also belongs to Anpu.

This is an excellent cover done by Disturbed.

A couple day’s later at the Satsang class in Cassadaga the Teacher actually used the words ‘The sound of silence’

Enough coincidence.

For quite a while now I’ve been trying to write about this.  Keep not quite getting it ‘right’ so …

With my little ego out of the way

In the name of my Lord Anpu

In keeping with the Laws of Maat

With the wisdom of Tahuti

May I communicate here what You would have me communicate about this song.

So mote it be.

The joining of lyrics, video and audio makes this cover very powerful.

Here Disturbed opens with a visual of the “wasteland”

In Western Grail Legends the King must join with the Goddess of the land or the Land will become a wasteland.

Sovereignty …the right to rule comes from the mystical Union of the human welding power over the land and people with the Divine spirit of the Land itself.  The ruler is charged with the Divinly ordained task of using his or her power to serve the needs of those he or she rules over.  If need be the Ruler is to sacrifice his or herself for the good of the Land and the people.

In our societies there is no such sacred Union.  Instead those who rule over us do so to  increase their own wealth and power without regard for the welfare of either the people or the lands that they have rulership over.

The wasteland is the result.

I’ll let the video speak itself.