The shadow …we all have one. It lurks deep within us. A frightened child alone and afraid. If not integrated it will rise up with a vengeance. In extreme cases it can even split off from us creating a doppelgänger …a shadow double that has the potential to destroy us.
More often it can take the destructive form of the internal critic. I used to call this my “peanut gallery”. Someone else I know refers to it as “the screaming maniac”. This is that voice in your head that criticizes everything you do, tells you that you are worthless and replays every negative experience you’ve had over and over again with special attention to every word spoken and action taken that you deserve to be damned for. It’s an internalized abuser that can rob you of any hope of happiness in the present
The integration of the shadow is a lifelong process. It doesn’t have to be difficult or traumatic. We should approach our shadow selves with compassion, acceptance, understanding and patience. The shadow is not apart from us …not even if it splits off as a doppelganger. It is always still a part of us.
I was compelled to write the above poem. I make no claims of “poetic greatness” I only claim that I put into words that which my dear Lord Anpu and His most sacred, beautiful and wise Mother Nephthys instructed me to write to the best of my limited ability.
The process is simple. Most spiritual work is simple …although some teachers try to make it complicated and difficult.
There are many good meditations and practices that you can make use of in order to begin this work. The meditation below is just one example…if it works for you great …if not than try a different route.
Shadow work is highly charged emotionally so after care is important. Be sure to schedule time afterwards to decompress. Eat, take time to write things down, if you have someone you can confide in talking about your experiences can be very helpful. In short baby yourself for a while.
I would recomend invoking Anubis and asking Him to guide you to the best means of shadow work for you. Remember He is a guide of souls and you are a soul in a body.
Staring into the void means to meditate. Get comfortable, slowly breath in and out concentrating on your breath while focusing your attention on your third eye. Visualize the Lady Nephthys. When your image of Her is clear and you feel Her presence tell Her that you are working on integrating your shadow and request Her assistance. Then visualize your shadow self as a frightened child or an abused and terrified animal alone in the “void” of you unconscious. Send the shadow your love, tell him or her that you want to help.
In time (it may take more than one meditation session) the shadow will reach back. Remember that the emotions of the shadow will be intense and you will experience them as your own …because they are your own.
The shadow cannot rise up into the light so you must descend into the void to meet it. Once there be gentle and kind. Listen to it. If possible create a more comfortable astral home for it.
Expect repressed memories to come to the surface …sometimes during and sometimes after the meditation session. If the memories and emotions are to traumatic to continue stop.
I have found it helpful to mediate on the ‘now’. The past is over and the future is nonexistent. We live in the tiny millisecond of ‘now’. Let your memories of the past rise up in your mind and fade away. Do the same with your anxieties about the future. You are eternal existing always in the ‘now’. This mortal physical life is short. Anpu tells me this life is very valuable so do not waste it. Look around you …wherever you are there is something to learn from. Take in as much as you can. Love as much as you can, listen and understand as much as you can. You are light and shadow, divine and animal. Love is the key. Compassion is the gate, service to those whom you can help the path, and eternity among the Gods the reward.
Also remember what the Gods consider to be a good successful life is not the same as what our human societies consider to be a good and successful life.
The Gods care about your spiritual growth. All great teachers have said go contrary to the world. This means ignore what society says is ‘good’ and embrace what the Gods value. Be the best, kind, loving, compassionate human you can be.
Blessings now and always