I shivered uncontrollably under the pile of warm blankets in my hallway bed in the emergency room. The nurse said it was a ‘cold IV’ that would drop my body temperature. I grew up in an extremely cold place and I knew the worse thing you can do is stiffen up but I’m losing that battle with myself. My husband sits beside me, his eyes red from lack of sleep. Next came the ‘migraine cocktail’ a mix of barbiturates and Benadryl. My husband was watching the time. It took five minutes. The way over the top headache and nausea was gone but the cold had done a job on my joints especially my left knee. I now had the pain that feels like the electric sand spurs under my knee caps and in the joints of my toes.
It was Saturday January 2nd I had been sick since Thursday night. Vomiting up bile, cold sweats, and unbelievable pain.
I went to work on Monday and Tuesday but it was very difficult getting through those days. On Wednesday I saw my own doctor. He put me in a medical leave for two weeks while we see if the new mix of chemicals will work out. Hopefully everything will work will together to treat my various medical conditions. I also have some other changes to make.
So why tell this story here? Thing is it’s been building up for years. He has been patient with me even when I asked Him constantly “Can I go now?”. His answer always the same.
When you belong to a deity and when that deity calls you to full-time service you can be sure that your Patron will do what ever it takes to break through your shields and open you up.
There were/are a lot of issues that I’ve just let build up over the last few years. Like so many others my everyday life was becoming unmanageable due to poverty and chronic illnesses affecting both myself and my husband. In addition my father had a couple of heart attacks, my mother has Alzheimer’s, and my brother, sister-in-law and niece had to move in with family due to circumstances beyond their control.
Sound familiar? Accept for a very privileged few life is becoming more difficult for everybody. I live in the New Rome – the United States. We call it America as though there were no other nations on this continent. Hardships. No one is bombing my neighborhood. I am not starving to death. I am not a slave forced to work outrageous hours under horrific conditions to provide cheap goods for “American” markets.In the USA I am white and heterosexual. The non-white, the LGBT don’t have it so good. Those troops that God’s Own Party here in the USA supported so much when they sent to war … well now they die waiting for medical care and they live on the streets. Meanwhile those sworn to serve and protect just can’t seem to stop assaulting, raping, torturing and killing mostly non-white and poor citizens.
My Lord has forced my eyes opened. Were I thought I had things under control in my own life He showed me that I didn’t. When I thought I knew what was going on in this world and where I fit in He showed me that my perceptions were way out of wack. He beat me over the head with His staff and broke the hard shell of false perceptions and stubbornness. Then He patted me on the head and told me to take some time to get my shit together and get to work.
What is this work He would have me do? No hospice, Not working with the dead, no He wants me to work for social justice. He wants me to help others to heal.
This is why I must tell my own stories more and more. Please known this whenever you look into the eyes of another there is suffering there, there is struggle, joy, pain, sickness, hope and hopelessness. We most learn to be kind to each other. If you have wealth share it! If you have useful knowledge and the blessings of health and free time use them! If you think you have nothing at all to give, no way at all to lessen the suffering of another you have greatly underestimated the power of a kind word, a gentle smile, a hand offered in friendship.
This is the lesson He has given me now to start the new year. Truth and compassion are the key words.
My Sweet Lord
I Adore You!!
Blessings Now and Always