I started out Christian. There was God he was male. He created the world in seven days. The first woman was created as an after thought from the first mans rib and it was her fault that sin and death were in the world.
My parents took my brother and I out of Sunday School because it was giving me nightmares. I was afraid of this God. He was cruel and bloodthirsty and would probably send me to hell.
I’m in my 50s and back than in the before time .. in the long long ago there was no internet. Finding information about other Gods, other faiths, wasn’t easy. Local libraries didn’t carry that much. A little on mythology but the Christian view of “God” was pretty much accepted as “gospel” meaning absolutely true. Other creation myths were clearly false .. even silly.
It took many years for me to cleanse myself of this brainwashing so that I could come to a more realistic view on Deity.
My views on this are my own and ever-changing as I learn and this is as it should be. I am very aware that to most people what I write here will be “crazy”. I am okay with that. Direct experience with Deity isn’t commonly expected or accepted in my culture. Even Christians who insist that they have direct experiences of their God are considered to be somewhat off their rockers so to speak.
I believe that the Gods and Goddesses are entities that were once like us. We are all baby deities. I use the term Deity by the way to try to be more gender neutral. Most of us think in terms of male or female, Gay or straight but humans and Deities are much more complex than that. Some are hermaphrodite, some are transsexual most are bisexual, a few are asexual … the Deities include all and so should we. Some entities, after evolving beyond the need to incarnate in this heavy physical world choose to get involved with the evolutionary process of all that is currently embodied in matter.
So what is the nature of this entity that I am dedicated to? His level of consciousness is beyond human understanding in the same way that an ant cannot understand human consciousness.For example, we cannot understand how it is possible for a Deity to be in an infinite number of locations simultaneously.
When I see My Lord Anpu I usually see Him in a patch of yellowish light surrounded by the darkness of deep space. I sense that he lives in this yellowish light … that this is the entrance to the spaces between the all the worlds and dimensions that exist. He can communicate with a little creature like myself while simultaneously doing an infinite number of other things. It boggles the mind to say the least.
My Lord Anpu has let me know that while I experience him primarily as the dweller in the duat others know him primarily as the guide and protector of souls and/or the God of embalming. He is all of these things and many more. What I find unchanging with regard to his interactions with humans is his compassion. He is very patient and extremely compassionate. Even with regards to people I think of as evil. He communicates to me that he understands what causes people and other animals to become “evil”. He regards the lack of empathy in those who do evil as a mental illness. The image he most often shows me is that of a vicious dog .. a dog made vicious by cruelty and abuse. Now this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t act to protect ourselves or others quite the opposite.
We all know the story about how after death we are brought to Maat for the weighing of the heart. Those whose hearts are heavier than the feather of Maat are devoured by Ammut. My Lord tells me that I have been devoured by Ammut many times … and same for anyone reading this. To be devoured by Ammut is to be reincarnated. The greatest goal for all of us is to be able to break out of this heavy physical world. To take up residence with the justified in Osiris in the beautiful land that the Gods have created where death and sickness are unknown. The Gods and Goddesses took this same path long ago. Now they stand ready to help us to join them in New Worlds. Realities that they have created for themselves and for us. Not long ago My Lord Anpu guided me to the writings of some Heathens. Most notably Raven Kalader and his book “The Pathwalker’s Guide to The Nine Worlds” Raven (who identifies as a Northern Tradition Pagan) a devotee of the Goddesses Hela describes the reality that the NorseGods have created.The Nine Worlds. Through this I came to understand what he meant when he spoke of bringing us humans into new and better worlds. I don’t know yet what kind of worlds My Lord has created for His people but I know I would much rather be with Him then here.
Now keep in mind you can’t just decided that you would rather live with the Gods than here kill yourself and join them. It doesn’t work like that. This existence may be a pain in the ass but it is important. It’s a place of accelarated growth. Like boot camp for the soul. If you want out you have to do the work. Seek connection with Deity. Learn and grow. Do your best to be a good human.